Question from Students

Yzabella Eggers, Humor Editor

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Students of Canyon Ridge High School have some risky, yet knowledgeable, inquiries about school. Yours truly, Yzabella Eggers, will answer those questions given by anonymous students. Here are just a few of those questions I wanted to answer because the rest of them sucked:

-I want to know, how is school lunch is made?

With the hard work and dedication by our wonderful lunch ladies and men as well as the delinquents who have to serve lunch with them. Thank you by the way!

-How many people secretly go against the law of school and do illegal activity?

Listen, I couldn’t tell ya but Canyon Ridge is the most positive place on the planet. *wink wink*

-Will my hard work pay off? Tests, essays, and all that?

Probably not lol.

-Why are standardized tests still a thing?

Bro, me and you are thinking the same exact thing.

-Who has sat on the toilet seat before me?

Me and your mom.

-Why are people vandalizing stuff?

For fun, just kidding don’t do it guys. I’m a girl and I don’t want to explain to the teachers again what is going on down below since we can only go to the bathroom for “emergencies.” Am I right ladies?

-Why do we need hall passes?

So yall don’t secretly VANDALIZE STUFF.

-Why do we have to call Mr. Teske “Doctor”?

Because Dr. Teske went through years of understanding important so he is elite.

-Why does the vending machine charge extra for cards?

Ask Dr. Teske, he is elite.

-Why are there 4 different hallways PLUS extra hallways?

Umm we are in a maze so we can never leave, duh.

-Why don’t we practice lockdowns more often?

Honestly let me get real, alright. I personally think we should but if the school does not see it is necessary then it is not necessary. Plus, we practice fire drills so is that not good enough for you guys?

-Why are teachers leaving CRHS?

Bro, remember we are in a maze so the only explanation is that they found their way out..

-Why don’t we have longer holidays?

Because learning is good and eating food and being thankful can only be celebrated for a day.

-Why don’t we have days off for cultural holidays?

:^

-Why are snow days an excuse for adding more school days?

Because learning.

-Why do different schools, like Licking Heights, have more vending machines that work throughout the day?

Well, aren’t you doing research ya little know-it-all.

-Why don’t we have vegan options for school lunch?

The reason for not having vegan options is because being extra healthy and nice to animals costs more money.

-Why can’t students wear durags and bonnets?

Bro we can’t even wear hats, sit down.

These questions were given to me by students who wish to remain anonymous because, well, I don’t know.