Why Basketball Matters… it Doesn’t!

Yzabella Eggers, Humor Editor

Basketball has been played by all the best athletes like Micheal Jordan and Lebron James but let’s get real, is high school basketball relevant? We all understand that there are scouts looking for the professionals who play basketball as if that was their destiny but what about the randos just playing to please their parents. Exactly, what randos? Basketball seems to be a sport that is overlooked, in a good way. Now, let me explain the endless reasons why basketball is not elite.

  1. There is too much scoring in the game. The only exciting part ends up being towards the last 5 minutes when everyone is on the edge of their seat and even then, all I see are injuries.
  2. Some players are just tall. Tall really hides how bad you are at basketball, guys. @@
  3. People’s necks are breaking and eyes are rolling watching the ball go up and down the court. Our eyes are literally burning from watching the ball go from point A to point B and still not seeing any points make it onto the scoreboard.
  4. For all the girls in basketball, you guys aren’t aggressive enough. For all the guys in basketball, you guys are too aggressive. Let me be honest, I don’t play sports so don’t come for me but what I have heard through the grapevine says exactly that. #SorryNotSorry
  5. Basketball players, please do not scratch up the floor a lot because it is brand new and the coaches will bury you 6 feet under, my friends.

Now, those are just a few reasons so don’t think I don’t have any more but after having read that hopefully you understand that basketball is not elite. Obviously, basketball is not the worst sport nor is it a bad one but we all have our moments. Don’t get me started on football, though.